diff --git a/internal/plugin/adventure_flavor_hospital.go b/internal/plugin/adventure_flavor_hospital.go
index 15b26b9..b1b2f5b 100644
--- a/internal/plugin/adventure_flavor_hospital.go
+++ b/internal/plugin/adventure_flavor_hospital.go
@@ -98,8 +98,22 @@ var nurseJoyAlreadyRevived = "You seem to have recovered on your own! " +
 
 // ── Room Announcements ───────────────────────────────────────────────────��─
 
-var hospitalDischargeAnnounce = "🏥 %s has been discharged from St. Guildmore's Memorial Hospital. " +
-	"Recovered. Back in action. The bill has been described as \"a lot.\""
+// hospitalDischargeBillDescriptors are the variants used for the
+// "The bill has been described as ..." sentence in the discharge announcement.
+// Some are bare adjectives ("devastating"); others are full quoted phrases.
+var hospitalDischargeBillDescriptors = []string{
+	"\"inhumane but probably normal by USA standards.\"",
+	"devastating.",
+	"ruinous.",
+	"soul-crushing.",
+	"\"proof that someone, somewhere, hates me specifically.\"",
+	"\"tearing to shreds what little hope I had left for humanity.\"",
+	"\"what I imagine my greatest enemies would charge me.\"",
+	"\"enough to make me reconsider the whole 'surviving' part.\"",
+}
+
+var hospitalDischargeAnnouncePrefix = "🏥 %s has been discharged from St. Guildmore's Memorial Hospital. " +
+	"Recovered. Back in action. The bill has been described as %s"
 
 var hospitalDitchAnnounce = "🏥 %s was brought into St. Guildmore's on a stretcher. " +
 	"They have been returned to the ditch. They'll be fine tomorrow."
diff --git a/internal/plugin/adventure_hospital.go b/internal/plugin/adventure_hospital.go
index d7933f5..3b20d04 100644
--- a/internal/plugin/adventure_hospital.go
+++ b/internal/plugin/adventure_hospital.go
@@ -336,7 +336,8 @@ func (p *AdventurePlugin) resolveHospitalPay(ctx MessageContext, interaction *ad
 		gr := gamesRoom()
 		if gr != "" {
 			name, _ := loadDisplayName(char.UserID)
-			p.SendMessage(gr, fmt.Sprintf(hospitalDischargeAnnounce, name))
+			descriptor, _ := advPickFlavor(hospitalDischargeBillDescriptors, ctx.Sender, "hospital_discharge_bill")
+			p.SendMessage(gr, fmt.Sprintf(hospitalDischargeAnnouncePrefix, name, descriptor))
 		}
 
 		return nil